'If I do not belong here, then where?' Posk, 313 CY
‘And what does it mean to belong?’ Posk wondered out loud. ‘And what does one do, once one finds where they belong?’
War breaks upon the peaceful kingdom of Lenmer’el. The troll hordes are massing at the edge of the Broadwaters River. Uniting them for the first time in three hundred years is an ambitious new warlord who wields the Blackflame sabre, a powerful troll artefact which was supposed to be hidden in the deepest vaults of the magical castle at Emerel. Now all he requires is the Spear of the Blood Lord and all troll fealty with it, and an army half a million strong will sweep across the great kingdom in less than a year, destroying all in their path.
And the first obstacle in that path is Kialessa and her closest friends…
‘I just finished it and I already want to re-read it! It’s definitely one of the most exciting books I’ve ever read! Ivy,7
‘A powerfully moving addition to an already beautiful and philosophical series.’Emily, 2018, age 20
One does not find where they belong. They create it... and then they create themselves in the image of it. Jindalessa, troll Queensage, ruminations of the lost wizard page 441.
You don’t understand. Sometimes those raised harshly come to believe deep in their souls that they are not worthy of any kindness, or love. Then, when they are shown it, and not matter how much they are shown it, they rejected it, unconsciously at first – refusing to believe a compliment, refusing to accept the offer of a kind deed, simply because it makes them feel uncomfortable. They cannot believe they are worthy of such kindness. Eventually they, like all beings, will seek to find a place more comfortable, more in tune with what they believe they are worth; even if such places are very, very dark. Thus they work their own way towards regret, and are almost never in a way forced there.
Jacinthia, high priestess, in ‘The year in jail’.
She does not feel she is worthy of acceptance, and so seeks to find her place among those that will have a hard time accepting her. Either they will accept her, and she will disdain them, or they will reject her and she will feel vindicated in her hatred. There is a narrow window, so very narrow, where kindness may yet find a way to help her choose to accept herself for who she simply is.
Jacinthia, high priestess, cited in ‘the year in jail’.
Points to ponder from the story
Until you risk presenting your sincere, vulnerable, and imperfect self to the judgement of an indifferent world, you will never find a place to belong.
Bon Sure’e, captain of the king’s guard, 313CY
Owning your story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending your life running from it.
- Jindalessa, high shamaness and queen.
Never seek war, for war soon enough will seek you. However… carry a sharp spear at all times.
Troll sage, Chatuk, unknown date.
Despite what your hate filled eyes have been trained to see, young enchantress, we are not all keen to battle for glory. We are musicians, and scholars. We are herders, and sowers. We cultivate the land, and we want to watch our children grow old by the light of our own hearth fire.
High Shamaness Jindalessa, cited by Allastassia, castle records CY 313
Never demand a miracle, but expect them. A flower will bloom in its own time, and is there any greater wonder in all of nature?
Lady Jacinthia, High Priestess of Lenmer’el, 313 CY
You never stand alone. In every moment a million ancestors pray for your survival and success. In deepest darkness, in darkest despair, you are never alone.
King Dunnkan, 312 CY.
“Lies! What must I do to prove I am a worthy king!” – Ki-Tieri, high king of all trolls. “You would have me tell you again? You must be willing to do so much more than die to protect your people; you must be willing to live for them! You must swear to protect them and honour your oath by the things you choose to do. You must avenge them of every injustice, and see they live in peace… And you must be willing to sacrifice your own ends to see your that people live in prosperity and peace.” – Jindalessa.
Be yourself – everyone else is already taken.
Humdug, dwarf scholar.
Vulnerability is the father of belonging.
Most people don’t hate you. And most people don’t like you either. They just… wait to see if you’re useful to them or not.
Aolith, cited in ‘Recollections of the tae’anaryl.’ 314 CY